Ugh, where to start, I feel fat as hell, and bloated, I am waiting for my period, waiting for my biological clock to tick. I always scare myself, I don’t know why I do this to myself, I know I am fine, all will be alright. I will get it, I always do, but there is always that sense of doubt that makes me think what if, or am I? My life would be greatly affected and I won’t be able to do anything that I would want to do like exercise more for prom, be able to get in shape, have fun with my friends. Be able to attend the school that I currently attend, go prom dress shopping, have fun at prom, and go to the after party. I want everything to be normal, I want to be able to go to church without people knowing, or being ridiculed. I cannot be, I cannot even manage to say the words because of how it might affect me. I am too scared to hear it, to know, that one time, was the scariest moment of my life, the other time wasn’t as bad, and this time I am just nervous. Beg, plead, bargain, barter with God. Promise, chastise, willingly give my life to him. If that happened there are three options. Rid, Kill, Have.
Wait, is the only word that can come to mine, I used to think if he wanted me to he would, if he didn't he won't. Wait please, wait for him, wait for her. High up you will be with him. I cannot say I know about me, I have no clue about my fate, but I hope it will be good. I don't ask for much, I just hope it is not what it may be. Have I been taught one to many times? I don't know but when I find out I hope I'll be so happy that I cry.
Wait, is the only word that can come to mine, I used to think if he wanted me to he would, if he didn't he won't. Wait please, wait for him, wait for her. High up you will be with him. I cannot say I know about me, I have no clue about my fate, but I hope it will be good. I don't ask for much, I just hope it is not what it may be. Have I been taught one to many times? I don't know but when I find out I hope I'll be so happy that I cry.